Choice.


Such a simple word.  It's merely the presence of option.  Or is it?  To me, choice has always been and most likely will continue to be the villain inside that allows my most criticized quality to escape and release it's wrath upon the world.   Lets just say I can be a little "indecisive".

In the midst of last nights political election, I got thinking about how having a sense of choice is something to be grateful for.  It represents our freedom to vote, or in my case, not to vote. I received a ton of backlash over my choice to avoid the polls yesterday.  Yes, I get it. People have fought for my right as a woman to vote.   But a right is no longer a responsibility.  We live in an age where we are littered with options and forced towards consumption, so how is it practical that we are encouraged to choose the future of our city by choosing what's behind door #1, #2 or #3.  I doubt there's a new car behind any of them.

 I'm just over a week into this little project of mine, and I'm quickly realizing how uncomfortable I am with making decisions from an emotional standpoint.  In my work life, I am extremely practical.  I'm solution-oriented and would rather get to the bottom of things rather than let them dwell.  In my personal life, that's not the case. Call it the "where do you want to go for dinner?" syndrome.   Wait a second, 'I' get to make a decision for my own benefit?  Now that I have the option, maybe I don't want Italian anymore.....maybe I want Thai.....or Mexican....can I just get ice cream for dinner?

Coming up with 30 events, activities goals and experiences is so much more difficult than I thought it would be. Where do I start? How do I narrow it down? Can I afford this? Will I have time to fit everything in?

We'll just like this blog, I need to start somewhere. It's been interesting having my friends and family share their responses of things they wish they had done before they left their 20's behind.   I appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts with me.  What I've learned from this is that everyone has their reasons for regrets. Different experiences will have different meanings to different people.   And that's fine. But nothing anyone shared actually resignated with me. It didn't bring me any closer to creating my map because my route is my own.   And so instead of asking for directions, I'm just going to grab my keys and drive. Because the first step to getting to where you want be, is leaving where you are.

Peace, love, M.

I woke up this morning feeling anxious.  Not quite enough to the point of willing to jump out of my bed and get a head start on my day.  More along the lines of a sense of excitement, albeit buried somewhere, deep within, by the opportunity to snooze my alarm twice and fall back into the realm of the unknown depths of my mind. 

The fact is that something felt different today.  The last few days of scheduling, appointments and calendars combined with my swift numeric skills have consciously been reminding me that as of today, I have exactly a year and a half (or 18 months, or 538 days considering 2016 is a leap year, but who's really counting) until I hit 30.  Now, I've never been afraid of entering the next decade of my life.  I truly believe that your thirties are the new twenties.  I mean, what better time to take life by the reigns when you've actually got most of it sorted out? Job, check. House, check. Husband, check. 

Let's get a few things straight - I don't feel like I'm missing anything.  I don't feel unsatisfied.  What I feel is that the timing couldn't be better for me to attack the things I've wanted to achieve in past years, but just haven't got around to for whatever excuse I've allowed myself to reason with and accept, until now.  Which brings me to the "bucket list" concept.  I'm not sure why they call it a bucket list, I guess you would metaphorically fill up your "bucket" as you go with all of life's memories and activities. I'm pretty confident that if I had a bucket, it would already be overflowing. And I'd probably drop it anyways. 

Enter peace, love, thirty.

Yes, essentially I have replaced "bucket list" with something more cute and clever, but I truly believe this journey will take me to a place where I feel harmony between myself and the world.  I've always lived within a sense of stability, (minus that period in 2010...although you have to admit party M was a blast) but stability can be bland, and let's face it, I can't spend every afternoon taking an open-air yoga class in the middle of the rainforest.  So I've started to write, and research, and think.  My active social brain took me to Pinterest where I found that my search results only allowed me to create a board on adventures I've already taken.  I've been blessed in my life to have had so many amazing experiences and to be so well travelled at my ripe old age of 28, so what's left?  This week I'm going to be doing a lot of reflecting. What did I miss? What was my excuse? Why not _____? I've already got a few things on my mind.  

My goal will be 30 by 30 (again, clever.  I know.) and I'm craving inspiration right now.  So please, inspire me.  What's the one thing you would (or do) regret leaving your twenties behind without doing? I'll be blogging throughout this journey, so as my high-school e-mail handle suggests...enjoy. 

Peace, love, M.